i jus realise that time is seriously running out for me.

today is already 2nd Nov. 8more days to Alvl.

was typing out my A lvl timetable, and i started to panic.

this resulted in no appetite for the whole day.

but i went kaixin's house to study in the afternoon, and chatting with her calmed me down though.

not as worried as b4 but stil very worried. hahaha. contradicting huh.

actually most of A level will be over in 2weeks like that. so it's not that long actually.

haiz

i really want to do well.

i dun wan to get straight Bs or Cs for my A level.

but i cant seem to improve anymore.

seem to reach saturation point already.

how?

haiz.

this year, i'm not exactly excited about my bday as compared to the past years.

dunno why.

maybe i seriously hate the thought that not much people will be free to celebrate thanks to As

and my close ones will be overseas.

oh well.

it's jus another day anyway. (: i got many more to celebrate in future.

by missing my 18th bday, it will make it the most memorable one. i'm trying to be optismistic, dun misunderstand what i wrote. (:

i really cant wait for A level to be over.

i can sleep and wake up feeling relaxed and not tensed like nowadays.

and go back malaysia. where no one can really contact me.

sometimes, i really hate the use of technology, my reliance on technology. how i cannot go out without my phone, cannot get through the day at home if i dun have my laptop switched on.

i miss breathing in the fresh air, be able to walk along that field where the smell of ripening of crops is so overwhelming and yet, so refreshing and calming to one.

cant wait to visit my granny in the old folk's home, thanks to my dearest uncles and aunts.

and also be able to shop like crazy and not really worried about how much i spent, thanks to the strong currency singapore has.

in summary, i'm really feeling tired.

why am i stuck in the path that is laid out for me. but i dun have the courage to left a new trail without knowing where it will lead me to.

let's countdown ba.

8more days to go.