a penny for my thoughts (=

a warm welcome to Jessica (:
now i've got 4juniors. (:

something happened to her (or u can say some personal things) and that leads me to think about my late grandpa.
a small part of inner me just refuses to acknowledge his death.
i have no idea why.
when i think of him, it wil take me another 1 or 2 secs before i realise that he is gone from the surface of the earth.
i was really on the verge of crying jus now in the bandroom.
i cant help it esp when memories of him starts surfacing up in my mind.
but i manage to hold the tears back and cheer myself up again.
i strongly believe that he is now in a place where he has no worries and is happy. (: no longer hav to suffer from any illnesses.
rest in peace..

I want to be selfish for just this once.
I want all my loved ones to die AFTER me.
so that I don't have to live a single day WITHOUT them.


another issue.
band.
currently,
no passion at all.

band is more of a burden than passion to me currently.
I'm going for the band practises because I'm obliged to, not because I wanted to.

i'm so tired. shouldnt it be the other way round?
somehow, after knowin that i'm not the only one feeling like that, i'm quite glad.

in the music world, shouldnt everyone be of equal standard? but why i dont feel it to be such a case.
shouldnt music be a form of relaxation? but why i dont feel it to be such a case.
oh well.
i'm speechless. contradicting issue.
GP teachers can look into this area and come up with a few qns to provoke some arguments.


off to prepare for my gp test tml. sianz