one day gone.
):
to PW, again.

i better get started on my H3 stuffs.
will be meeting Ms Yeo, my H3 tcher advisor tml to discuss whether i should continue or drop.
oh well.

tml shall b a busy day for ME.


suddenly, i got this thought.
i felt that I will be able to see the world much clearer if I'm blind.
there seems to be alot of things that i do not know.
maybe i should start by listening to the things around me.
i dunno.
i always think that the world is beautiful.
but lookin at the things happening to me, around me ever since i'm getting mature,
will make me think otherwise sometimes.
i dunno.
mayb i'm just mentally tired of all these.
i dunno.
mayb i'm just finding an excuse to escape reality.
to tell the truth,
如果我可以选择，我会选择逃避一切。
cause its really hard, gathering all the courage again again and yet, again.
but i also know that, if i dont face the problems now, i will have to face it later.
i only ave the ability to postpone things again and again.

I am also starting to lose confidence in myself.
I can feel it.
The way i talk, i walk.
The way i look at others, at myself.
so different from b4.

maybe i'm still upset regarding my results.
I know I know, my result is not bad.
but, you must know that, it's consider my 1st downfall. bcuz i dun hav CT to feel lousy before.
In the past, I never have to worry about my physic chem or math results.
the results I got last time is full of confidence.
where i can predict how much I get roughly.
not like now.
TOTALLY no idea on how i will do.
that's why, this is the 1st time I cried b4 receiving my results.
I have adsolutely no idea how i do. adsolutely.
feel damn lousy for all my papers.
a whole new experience for me.

oh well.
mayb i still need some time to get over this.
a much longer time than usual.
but i will be fine, i'm sure.