SYF 2oo7

oh well.. we did not get gold in e end... my heart was smashed into pieces when i was in e Singapore Conference Hall when they announce e result:
Band number twenty six, Nan Hua High School, SILVER.

i jus feel so tired after hearin e results.. as if al tat we hav done is not worth it...

however, there r alot of bands droppin from gold or GWH to silver n blah blah blah.. getting gold jus happen to b much more difficult during tis year.. it was said tat we could get gold 2 years back if we played e same standard for this year's syf during e last syf.. guess we may not b as bad as it seems..

i had been puttin up a strong front for tat whole mornin.. i jus could not control myself.. i'm not as strong as i seem to b.. i can admit tat i'm actually a timid person in my heart.. sometimes it really kept me wondering where do i actually got al that confidence when i do other things such as rides on roller coastal blah blah blah.. yet, i dare not face up to e truth.

if i nid to choose, i wld rather escape a problem than face it.. i'm such a person ba.. been very sad stil.. i hav been tryin 2 4get bout this syf n try 2 recall how much i enjoy during e band prac we had n the unity that we hav in band but i jus kept thinkin bout e bad sides.. i dunno. durin sch time, i get 2 listen in class, divergin my attention 2 my studies n frens around me but once i reach home, sittin alone in my room, my thoughts wil start 2 run wild.. sometimes, even though i noe it is not true, i wld stil blame that we did not get gold is AL MY FAULT!

i really dunno how 2 face our conductor mr tan.. i felt lyk we hav let him down.. i really dunno. al his 3 bands got silver.. i jus feel so disappointed wif myself..

i started recallin a promise that i hav made 2 one of my senior.. i rmb tellin her that i wil work hard 2 get a gold 4 e nex syf(which is this syf)... i hav broken my promise... i'm not a trustworthy person.. dun ever trust me..

i really hope i wil get over soon. i wrote so much bcuz it really make me feel better.. sorry 4 borin u al.. u dun hav 2 read though.. i'm jus tryin 2 vet my anger, my disappointment wif me on my keyboard.. hittin it hard 4 every letter that i type... ... ...